Without a net

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The last time I tried a “fly by the seat of my pants” kind of holiday, it lasted all of a day before we were organised within an inch of our lives. This time the only thing that is certain is that I need to be in Wellington on Tuesday for the basketball and back in Auckland on Saturday to fly home. So how’s it all working out? well it’s been pretty interesting thus far:

I got off the plane, found myself a hire car, then sat in it for about half an hour trying to figure out where the hell I was going. Eventually I decided to just head towards Hobbit territory and hoped to get lucky. I suppose I did in that I didn’t have to sleep in my car, but now I know what the earplugs were for in the bedroom of the motel I found.

In hindsight, trying to get to Wellington in two days was a bit ambitious but the country is beautiful and I’m enjoying the serendipitous encounters with places and people along the way. I’ve made it as far as Napier which is known as the Art Deco Capital of the world and the hotel I’m staying at is a true reflection of that claim. I’ve also just found out that it is prone to earthquakes, but with the lack of sleep the previous night from all those bloody trucks thundering past, I’m sure it would require an earthquake to wake me.

Go Girls

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Shotover River

Shotover River

OK, it’s taken about two days, but I think I’ve just about recovered from “The Vodka Incident”, though I have been constantly reminded of it ever since 🙂 We’ve moved on to more adventure with the Shotover Jet, the Gondola and Luge and I’m afraid I might be turning into an adrenaline junkie. Paige and I didn’t quite make it bungee jumping, but we watched it and that’s nearly the same thing lol. No seriously, we are determined to come back here soon and have another adventure holiday where we do everything: parasailing, zip lining, canyon swing and finish it off with a bungee jump. Crazy? perhaps… but you’ve got to have a bit of a thrill now and then.

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Gone Girl

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Pretty sure you're supposed to do this standing up.

Pretty sure you’re supposed to do this standing up.

It’s really hard to ski with a hangover. I’m sure plenty of people have done it – it’s just not something I do particularly well. After nearly falling off the magic carpet to get up the nursery slope I decided that this day was just a write off and cut my losses and headed home, leaving Paige and Eileen to carry the flag for team #girlsgonemild. Really, the only reason I even braved the 20 minute bus journey up the mountain was to do our photo shoot for Eileen’s Sartorial Stylings. That and to buy the orgasmic pork belly and apple pie from Fergbaker to complete my recovery.

24 hours earlier… Continue reading →

Girls Gone Mild

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It’s hard to believe it has been a year since I’ve dusted off the passport and headed to foreign climes. This holiday is a little different to times past, however, because it is a “girls own adventure” with my friends Paige and Eileen. We’re hitting the ski slopes and New Zealand is our destination of choice (and a very good choice it is).

A bottle of vodka and a spa... what could possibly go wrong?

A bottle of vodka and a spa… what could possibly go wrong?

I must have the luck of the Irish or something because our first day of skiing in Queenstown was nothing short of perfect. Perfect in that we had blue skies and clement weather. Perfect in that we all looked absolutely amazing. Perfect in that we had a ski instructor with an accent and who was, by all accounts, pretty hunky. What more could a girl ask for? Oh yes, mulled wine après-ski and a hot spa to ease away our aches. Sheer bliss, but our conversation cannot be reproduced in this blog for fear of incriminating the guilty.

For someone who needs to be alone a lot I haven’t had any melt downs… yet. I rather think Paige and Eileen might come out of this holiday thinking I’m relatively normal, although it is early days. The same can’t be said for my computer which gave up the ghost on the second day*. RIP 11″ Mac Air. You served me well.

*I’ve had to survive on my iPhone and that is a special level of hell for me. I very nearly went out and bought a brand new computer before sanity prevailed. It was a close call however…

No more tears

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Relaxing... or comatose?

Relaxing… or comatose?

I’ve just realised that this is the first holiday I’ve had where there haven’t been gales of tears at some point along the way (usually the first day, but invariably periodically throughout the vacation). I can’t think what to credit this momentous occasion but could it be that I’ve possibly become a seasoned traveller? Well I’m not going to draw any conclusions until my next holiday without tears, but certainly the last few days have given no cause for emotional upheavals as it’s been smooth sailing the whole way.

We’ve been staying just outside the picturesque town of Galle at Kahanda Kanda. This was going to be the relaxing part of the holiday but little did I know I would be spending most of the time in bed. Now get your minds out of the gutter – we weren’t having wild monkey sex the whole time (sorry mum) – I came down with a cold. It certainly wasn’t how I’d intended this holiday to end but somehow not entirely surprising given the stressful lead up to this holiday. I rallied to make a couple of forays into the town of Galle (the fort) which is another must see if you come to Sri Lanka. I thought Sri Lanka had nothing for me shopping wise, but that was until I walked into a gem shop in Fort Galle and then I got a little bedazzled and bought up big. Good thing it’s so cheap over here 🙂

Now we’re just hanging around waiting to leave. I’ve been here just long enough to start regretting leaving, but that usually only lasts until I get on the plane for home. It’s always interesting experiencing other cultures, albeit in places they might never afford, but also nice to know your place in the world and Perth is and always will be home.

Roughing it

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I know what I have to say next will be met with baffled amusement by some, but it’s camping time. OK, I guess it’s not quite roughing it if you get to sleep in a double bed, and have drinks brought to you by the staff, but the fact remains; I’m sleeping in a tent. Of course we still had to get there and our driver took us on an incredibly long 5 ½ hour journey driving in the opposite direction for a good hour or two from where we should have been going. When I finally plucked up enough courage to question him and show him my Google map and ask why we hadn’t gone straight there, he laughed, waggled his head and said it was the long way. We have to bow to his superior knowledge of his land, but it’s just that we went via Ratnapura where we stopped at a gem ‘museum’ which just happened to be a front for a jewellery shop. Suspicious much? We think so, but as much as I like a good gem, we left that museum quicker than a Zimbabwean batsman leaves the crease once we realised what was going on.

Samantha the leopard

Samantha the leopard

Anyway, eventually we got to Leopard Trails for our tented safari in Yala National Park. On our first drive I spotted our first leopard. She was a beautiful cub about a year old, but pretty large for all that. She wandered behind the vehicle and sat on the side of the road as if for a photo opportunity before she moved on her way. Of course it doesn’t take long on the bush grapevine for word to spread around and soon many jeeps arrived, but we got her all to ourselves for a little while. The guide said she didn’t have a name and asked for suggestions. I promptly said “Samantha” (Sam not being a fitting name for a leopard I think) and for the rest of the trip everyone called both the leopard and myself, Samantha. Very weird being called Samantha – usually only happens when I’m in trouble 😉

Down at the water hole

Down at the water hole

Now god knows I’m not a big fan of getting up early in the mornings and 5 am safari drives are no exception, but being able to see three leopards drinking and playing at the waterhole was very special. In fact we saw lots of leopards, a sloth bear, elephants, mongooses, python, buffalo, deer and crocodiles plus more so our wild animal quota for this trip is well and truly satisfied. We even had the thrill of being charged by an angry elephant, but he was just pretending. Apparently when they make a noise and flap their ears at you they’re not serious about charging. Seemed pretty serious to me, but he didn’t commit so I’m writing about it now. All the same, three nights on safari was more than enough and we’re looking forward to sleeping in again.

He’s from Barcelona…

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If you’re going to come to Sri Lanka, you should head into its mountainous heart and try a thrill-seeking adventure holiday – and/or tea. A very long and winding 4 hour drive later we found ourselves in the rainforest in an old tea plantation. There couldn’t be a greater contrast between Sigiryia and Kitulgala: It is cold, raining, lushly green and we’re staying at a hotel run by Basil Fawlty. Question: Why display bottles of alcohol in the bar if you’re not allowed to serve them? Tantalus was tempted less. They did offer me a glass from a flagon of red wine but my cheap wine drinking days were over circa 1984 and the less said about those days the better 🙂

But we were staying here for a reason: to go white water rafting at Borderlands which was about a 30 minute drive away. The constant rain had the effect of making the rapids far more exciting than they would ordinarily have been and if it weren’t for our excellent safety briefing beforehand I’m sure we would have fallen out during one of the class III rapids we navigated. Our dreadlocked Austrian guide had us paddle high-fiving after every success and has agreed to be my porter on my Inca Trail trek next year if he can procure a donkey.

It was back to Forest Edge for one last night before we leave for Safari but, not willing to spend another night in this place sans alcohol, I bought a bottle from Borderlands to take back with us. It probably comes as no surprise that wine sourced from a backpackers was not very good, but it served its purpose. Also helped to get us through the evening when the electricity went out in our room. Mr Fawlty attacked the fuse box with a screwdriver and stuffed newspaper in to restore light while I mentally revised my first aid procedures. I will say this though: While the service left a lot to be desired, the food was excellent (just don’t order off the menu!).

Calves of Iron

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Day 03 saw us heading on an, at times, butt-clenching five hour journey to Sigiryia where culture awaited. Many internet forums strongly recommended against a self-drive tour in Sri Lanka and we understand why now. Best just to close your eyes and liquor up before you go. It was, of course, worth it in the end and we’re batting two for two in the accommodation stakes so far with eco resort Jet Wing Vil Uyana proving another winner – although passing field upon field of onions leading up to the resort had me wondering if it were a bad omen of sorts. Nasty vegetable, the onion. You know you’ve got first world problems when you’re disappointed you don’t have your own private pool – but an upgrade soon got us an amazing villa, complete with pool and monkey*.

The next day involved a decision that I was to pay for, and am still paying for, for days after: Lion Rock. Now don’t get me wrong – Lion Rock is an absolute must if you’re in this area. Now a UNESCO world heritage site, formerly a king’s palace, then a Buddhist monastery… today it was the climb that never ended. Yep, the name probably gave it away, but whatever this thing was in its former lives, it was on top of a bloody big rock. Not that it was at all difficult to climb… many months of boot camp had me racing to the top with ease… but the next day… Oh the next day. Suffice it to say that next time boot camp is on there will be a lot of stair work 🙂

Eco-tourism gone mad

Eco-tourism gone mad

The afternoon was devoted to nature, although the elephant safari didn’t turn out quite as expected. Minneriya certainly did have elephants – but the jeeps far outnumbered the elephants! The elephants were marvelously unconcerned, but with so many vehicles circling, it was impossible to get too close. I know they’re trying to earn an income, but without more controls untold damage could be done.

Fashion plate

Fashion plate

OK, time to get off my soapbox, although at this point any steps up or down result in intense pain in my calves. As luck would have it, the following day’s adventure also involved stairs. Not quite as many, but stairs they were just the same. I get that putting a Buddhist temple on top of a rock would seemingly get you closer to god – and certainly I applaud the notion that a little effort should be required to worship whatever deity you so desire, but so soon after Lion Rock – well, let’s just say it was very slow progress. I also made a fairly rookie mistake by wearing shorts. I normally carry a scarf around with me for just such occasions but I really dropped the ball on the research here as I thought we were seeing caves not a temple in a cave. Salvation was at hand through a vendor at the top of the hill selling sarongs… for a price. I soon got over my reluctance to bargain however, and haggled him down to 1500 rupee on principle alone. I thought holidays were supposed to be relaxing?

* Monkey not actually included.

There’s a gentleman in the lobby for you…

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Gentlemen in the lobby...

Gentlemen in the lobby…

Sri Lanka might seem a surprising choice of holiday destination given my dislike of spicy food and stringent toilet requirements, but so far said choice is proving pretty sound. Our rendezvous was the charming Tintagel Colombo. I am slightly embarassed to admit that on arriving at this hotel my first thought was ZOMG Amazing! – like some excitable teenager. Later the following morning Chris’ arrival was heralded with the call: “Excuse me Ma’am, there’s a gentleman in the lobby for you”. I never knew I’d wanted a gentleman in the lobby before I heard that.

After our time zone adjustments we found out that a cricket match was afoot with Sri Lanka versing Pakistan so spent a couple of sessions mixing on the grass with the locals. Not a lot of… err… Australians in the vicinity, shall we say. Chris was disappointed to have missed Jayawardene’s final batting appearance after assuring me he was set for a double century, but Sri Lanka managed to win the test anyway. Also, entry was free – though having to pay approx $1AUD probably wouldn’t have broken the bank 🙂

Day at the cricket

Day at the cricket

I’m in two minds about recommending Sri Lanka for a holiday because it is still refreshingly unspoiled by tourists – think Bali about 30 years ago but sooooo much better. However given the low circulation of my blog readers, I can’t imagine that it’s in any danger of being overrun through my reluctant urgings.

We’ve now left Colombo for the cultural triangle. Our driver informed us that it was very lucky to be staying where we were. Somehow I don’t think that the former Sri Lankan president, whose residence this was, thought the same when he was assasinated on the verandah.

The high life

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Almost a perfect day

Almost a perfect day

Is Zermatt a town you want to go to if you’re on a budget? Hell no! I think that this long weekend skiing in Zermatt has cost us more than the rest of the holiday put together – but talk about picture perfect. The pricier hotels will even pick you up from the train station in a horse drawn carriage – sleigh bells and all. We’re not staying in one of those (although in Zermatt everything is pricey), but the lovely Hotel Phoenix instead. I’ve got to stop saying it’s a winter wonderland, but snow just makes me giddy with delight (as do turtles).

Skiing has been a bit of a challenge with just two days to do it in – my first day was mostly spent falling down. One time I even managed to stack it so that I ended up on my back, upside down on the slope with skis in the air just before a pack of ski instructors whizzed past – all with grins on their faces. It was actually pretty funny, but I’m glad there was no photo evidence all the same. I have been skiing once before but the ski instructor I had would invariably catch me before I fell. This one just lets me fall so I learn quicker. Well it worked – the second day I conquered my fears and that dastardly slope without falling over once!

I wouldn’t say Zermatt is particularly beginner friendly though – and I’m definitely not a natural skier. Those who have seen me on the basketball court won’t find this at all surprising. I certainly like the apres-ski side of things however, although I’m flabbergasted at the cost of dinner in some places – and don’t get me started on the clothes shops – yikes! This is one holiday where I’m too scared to go into the shops for fear I might be tempted to buy that $300 beanie (not even exaggerating a little here).

…so that’s it for a while. Now it’s back home to Australia for xmas and to plan my next adventure. Tahiti looks nice 🙂 .

Worth mentioning:

  • Snowboat – a yacht club in Zermatt? Well it looked hokey but was really nice. Not cheap, but then nothing is in Zermatt except, one assumes, McDonalds.