No phone, no internet, no electricity: “It’s Africa” they all say. I say “arghhhhhh” I mean, I can do without my phone and electricity, but no internet? That’s just a cruel and unusual punishment.

Crumbling casa

We’ve now left the lovely Benguerra Island behind and, in a bizarre exercise in logistics (it’s Africa), flew south for a night in Maputo, then far north for a night on the Ilha de Mozambique. This is a UNESCO world heritage site that is crumbling down around them, yet could be a pretty remarkable destination if they had any money to put into it. UNESCO grants its status, but won’t grant money, and the locals certainly don’t have any (it’s Africa). It’s definitely worth a visit, but fat chance of getting me back there without internet. I’m surprised we were even able to get dinner the number of times the electricity went out. The waiter was in the middle of pouring me a vodka when we were plunged into darkness the first time. Now I can do without dinner but give the girl a drink at least. In the background, a spectacular lightning display unfolded and we were able to see what we were eating between flashes and a well placed torch. This must be what roughing it feels like 🙂

Three roofs blew off during the night but I slept like a baby courtesy of the 5am trip to the airport, two hour flight, then a two hour drive to get here. The next morning we went on a tour of the palace (former Governor’s mansion) and the church. Hysterically our guide at the church delivered his tour entirely in Portuguese, but we managed to get the gist of it, I think. He certainly understood the tip (it’s Africa). Some things are universal.

Not a bad way to spend a day

Yup, that’s right little buddy – we’re staying on Gilligan’s Island (after they were rescued and went back to create a luxury resort). All we need is Mary Ann’s coconut cream pie and my 60s flashback is complete. Our temporary home is at Benguerra Lodge in a casita on the beach, complete with plunge pool and butler. I have to say, I do like being waited on 🙂

It’s hard to believe it, but with three lodges on this Island, there are only two other guests. I know it’s the wet season, but apart from the evening shower yesterday that cancelled my horse riding expedition, it’s been blue skies all the way. Actually the horse riding is quite an incredible tale in itself: these horses were rescued from the Zimbabwe land invasions and eventually found a home in Mozambique. You see, I’m getting a holiday and a history lesson…

At the Dhow bar

Given my dislike for getting wet, it might surprise you to know that I’m in the ocean *all* the time here. Partly because it’s so hot but mainly because it is so inviting. Also, it hardly feels like you’re in, the water is so warm. Even when we went out to a reef in the middle of the ocean for some snorkelling, it wasn’t cold at all. And speaking of snorkelling: usually it’s the fish that draws the attention, but in this case it was the coral which was in pristine condition and I’ve never seen the like before (in my one previous snorkelling experience that is). I only wish I had some photos to show you (maybe another expensive camera purchase?). I kind of thought we were going to have a relaxing three days, but our “cruise director” has our days planned out exceedingly well. From dhow cruises to picnics on the beach, there’s just no time for relaxation!

For some reason my mobile and my MasterCard don’t work over here. Either that or I haven’t paid my bills. Either way it’s worth remembering in future to bring two different credit cards! Good thing Chris is here as ‘Minister for Finance’ as our host Solomon would say.