Ooops

After swearing I’d never sing karaoke I unfortunately found myself at a Russian strip joint on my return to Geneva belting out Bohemian Rhapsody with gusto after enough red wines at a tapas bar followed by vodkas at a karaoke bar/strip club.. At some point I found myself noticing it was snowing after landing in a snow bank in somewhat of a drunken stupor. Hmm snowflakes are pretty. Jesus, it’s only Monday night and my holiday has supposedly ended. Guess I shouldn’t drink and type… God   I hope nobody took photos.

PS: funnily enough had a really good time but it’s really hard to be coherent right now. Will I regret this in the morning?

Everything but the kitchen sink

Louvre – check; Eiffel tower* – check; Musee d’Orsay – check; Museum of Modern Art – check; L’Orangerie – check; copious amounts of shopping – double check; holiday to recover from holiday… well that might have to wait for a bit 🙂

I just have to say that for me the L’Orangerie was the best part of the whole trip. Those wrap around Monets are incredible and the moments when I walk around with my jaw on the floor in an art gallery are few and far between. The fact that you get a few Renoirs, Gauguins, Picassos and Cezannes et al are just an added bonus. Its bigger sister, the Musee d’Orsay, had a wonderful impressionist gallery housed in an old railway station. Chris took a picture of me at the clock face but I looked like I was having teeth pulled so I’ve put up a picture of just the clock instead.

The other worthwhile stop was in fact the Museum of Modern Art. Now if you plan on seeing it, please note that there are in fact two museums of modern art in Paris. The difference is one is free, the other isn’t**. Can you guess which one I went for? Well, if you didn’t know my tightarse ways by now you should have guessed that I don’t much like spending money on exhibitions (but incidentally have no problem doing it shopping). Anyway, the City MOMA is absolutely free and has a pretty good cafe there to boot and featured such highlights as a morse code chandelier. There was also a mouse running in a  circle on one of the floors, but I’m pretty sure that wasn’t one of the exhibits, though it was pretty entertaining for about five minutes or so.

I believe I have now maxed out my credit card so it’s just as well we’re leaving Paris tomorrow <sob>. Who would have thought that I’d ever have wanted to stay?

*this involved standing underneath it in the rain, looking up and thinking ‘just can’t be bothered’
**there are probably other differences too, but I would have had to fork out the bucks to see it so I guess we’ll never know.

Not another art gallery…

Ah Paris, I love you so… There are so many interesting things to do and see – a week is just not enough. I guess I’ll just have to keep coming back until I’m done 🙂 We are staying in a fantastic location on the Ile Saint-Louis in the centre of Paris. Close to everything with a boucherie, a boulangerie and fromagerie just outside the door and on a street of restaurants. I may put on 5 kilos in Paris alone.

We went to the Louvre today <sigh>. It was pretty big (actually, that’s somewhat of an understatement) and had a fabulous collection, but I think I’m just over art galleries and wandering around seeing the same kind of paintings over and over again. I know I shouldn’t diss the Mona Lisa, but it didn’t seem all that special quite frankly. Not that the queue milling around thought the same. In fact my exposure to the Mona Lisa was actually a backward glance over my shoulder as I walked past the crowd *lol*. Please try not to swoon all you art lovers, but I’ll reserve my praise for my personal fave; Monet who is and has always been da man.

London calling

Only two nights in London – what was I thinking? Obviously I must be mad. I couldn’t possibly hope to shop all of London in just two days! It’s hard to believe there’s an economic crisis on with the number of people in London. I did my best to boost the economy but I’m fast running out of luggage space, and I do have to save my last hurrah for Paris – and at the very least I need a new hat. Not sure I actually have any money left, but that’s what credit card debt is for. I *really* need a job fast when I get back home.

Now let’s see… there must have been something else to do in London besides shopping.  Well, we did make it to the Tower of London and got to see the hilarious Yeoman Warden of YouTube infamy.  I’m not sure why he looked at me when he was talking about women always wanting the last word? The Tate Modern was pretty awesome and chipped into shopping time in a big way. I am inspired to create something arty when we eventually buy our villa in the south of France.

The surprise of the trip though was Chris actively wanting to see a musical. Mind you, it was Blood Brothers (no happy ending here) and apart from a few well restrained sobs from me, it was very good indeed.

I feel like we’ve now visited every pub in England. I think it’s probably a good thing we don’t live in London because I’d always be shopping and Chris would always be at the pub. I would however be very well dressed when I came down to the pub to drag him home 🙂

Old Blighty

It’s onwards and upwards old chaps. In case you’re wondering why I’ve gone all British it’s because we’re currently in the UK, pottering around the countryside of Kent. How odd to be able to speak English again – I’ve kind of gotten used to speaking in French now – or a bastardised version of it at any rate.

Everyone told me that England is miserable in the winter but so far the weather has been sunny, if a little freezing, so we’ve been able to enjoy the English countryside, so to speak. This mainly involves a lot of driving around looking at greens that Chris once played cricket on and drinking at pubs. I really don’t have a problem with the pub side of things 🙂

An inordinate number of castles are closed at the moment however, which has put a bit of a spanner in the works. As a general tip, don’t visit the English countryside in the middle of winter. Luckily Leeds Castle was open and for the princely sum of £18 each we could visit the castle and grounds (highway robbery methinks). It was a perfect Pemberley. I could just imagine Mr Darcy emerging from the lake dripping wet… hmmm… having a moment here… OK, back from YouTube now. If you think I’ve gone barmy, then perhaps you should look at this for enlightenment, or maybe this for a bit of a strange post-modern moment instead.

Just one more day around here (shopping tomorrow!) and then it’s off to London to argue over which musical to go and see. I’m not sure I can get Chris to see Mamma Mia but I’ll give it a go anyway…

Queen of the mountain

Today I felt like I climbed to the top of Mt Everest. Well, I may as well have for I skied down a bloody big mountain. I’ll admit my expectations weren’t high starting off ski lessons this week. If I could just ski down a little hill, that would have been a major accomplishment. Well skiing down a mountain is sooooooo much better! Just think, two days ago I could barely turn and now I can ski a mountain. I even did a little bit of a red run 🙂 Mind you, small children can still ski better than me, but I’m not letting that ruin my sense of achievement.

Lifestyles of the rich and famous

We now come to the sporting part of our itinerary: skiing in St Gervais, France. Now St Gervais is like a poor-man’s Chamonix. It’s actually a really nice town, you just don’t get rich women swanning around in fur coats carrying little dogs… and that’s no bad thing. We’re staying practically at the bottom of the ski lift so it’s all really convenient to get to the slopes.

We’ve booked private lessons and that turned out to be a godsend. Well for me anyway, as I’m a skiing virgin (no jokes please Tuss). Chris is skiing down the slopes already with aplomb, because he’s done this before, but I’m giving the 5 year olds a run for their money and I managed to ski for the whole two hours without falling over (partly due to our ski instructor ‘guiding’ me downhill 🙂 ).

The only bad thing about this holiday is that yet again there is no internet where we are staying and the places in town have time restrictions (the bastards!) so we can’t drink the bar dry while we download copious amounts of movies from iTunes. The downside to life in the cloud I suppose. Still, I guess the purpose of a holiday is not to spend your whole time on the internet although the withdrawal symptoms get worse when I know a basketball game is on. Go Wildcats!

Under the Tuscan sun

Well Siena is definitely worth a visit. Actually, we only really saw the Duomo and the Piazza del Campo, but if you can only see two things in Siena, they are probably the sights you want to see. The Duomo is without a doubt the most over the top, overwrought cathedral I have ever seen – but somehow it kind of works. My thighs are still aching from the climb to the top of the parapet to look out over the city and my only regret is that I didn’t get more time shopping. Are you really surprised?

Settling into Sarteano

After my initial panicked reaction to having no internet where we’re staying, I’ve found there are in fact two places with free wifi in Sarteano. Last night we went to one of them; Zanzebar’s,  an Irish/Italian pub and had a very merry time. I have to say the measures of vodka they serve here in Italy thus far are very generous. After we got home from Zanzebar Chris had to help me with my clothes which had suddenly grown extra arms and legs when I was changing. I believe I also did a variation of the Hamster Dance at some stage. The wonderful thing about vodkas is that I don’t get hangovers (although I’m often embarrassed in the morning).

We’re staying in a beautiful old apartment in Sarteano which is an absolute panacea after the bustle and noise of Florence. We hired a car and have been driving around the countryside seeing the sights (me closing my eyes at times while Chris grows accustomed to driving on the other side of the road). I’m afraid I’m running out of interested expressions when Chris points out yet another ruin, but he has to put up with me dragging him into any shop in sight so it evens out. I’m not quite relaxed yet but getting close… especially after a couple of vodkas 🙂

A quick and dirty guide to food in Florence

Obviously my little bout of food poisoning in Florence meant we didn’t get to as many restaurants as I would have liked, but towards the end of the week we found some places that are worth blogging about. For Chris’ birthday we went to Olio and Convivium which was gourmet central. Freshly shaved truffle over pasta, a wall of wine to choose from and a desert plate to drool over – it was definitely worth the price tag. Chris feels a little gypped that he had to pay for his birthday dinner, but if he will buy the expensive wine and drink it all, he has to fork out 🙂

Slightly more down market in a hip, deconstructed way was Volume which is more wine bar than restaurant. In the evenings they have a bar laden with apertivo (free food for the uninitiated and a fine Italian tradition I might add) that just keeps coming. At 5€ for a glass of wine, you get what you pay for, but the music is great and the atmosphere will keep you coming back (did I mention the free food?).

Il Santino was a ‘hole in the wall’ wine bar that had the most delicious anti pasto and a more than drinkable selection of wine. You do pay for the food here, but they occasionally give you a freebie. Apart from the odd brash American who slipped in, it’s definitely not a tourist trap and we happily whiled away many an hour. Chris thinks if it attracts the gay crowd it must be good, but I thought those boys were just smartly dressed…

The Libreria Cafe La Cite always looked intriguing as we walked past, but we unfortunately didn’t get to it until our last night where we came upon an accordion/string band playing some pretty wild music. Sounds odd – and it was – but the crowd really got into it. It’s one of those places where you might have to suffer through a spoken word performance, but after a couple of glasses of wine, you just don’t care… And the girl at the bar actually hand-made my mulled wine for me! I haven’t been so impressed since Japan where they hand-chipped the ice cubes.

Lastly, for pizza, try the ever busy Gusta Pizza. You won’t get a pizza with the lot here and in fact all the pizzas are basic variations of mozzarella and tomato, but they do take away and they’re cheap and tasty. Those boys were very charming while Chris was off getting some wine 😉 It also has a ‘sister’ store Gustapanino which has, perhaps unsurprisingly, cheap and tasty Panini. Seriously – 3€ for a panini – this is a store that needs to open in Geneva (only there it would be three times as expensive and half the quality).

Oh and I almost forgot: amazing biscotti could be had from Il Cantuccio Di San Lorenzo. It was seriously addictive and we chowed down on two whole bags of the stuff before we thankfully left Florence. While I’m talking about the sweet stuff, I thought gelato was all the same, but I had a gelato from a tourist trap that I just binned because it was so sugary (and at 8€ for the ice-cream, that really hurt). But from Gelateria La Carraia I had a little bit of fruity heaven and as it was the only thing I could eat over Xmas, it was a bit of a lifesaver quite frankly.

Next post I detail all the shops I went into in Florence. Just kidding. You get our amazing adventures in Sarteano and surrounds. A truly restful holiday if you don’t count the boot camp march that Chris makes me do every day.