Pretty sure you’re supposed to do this standing up.

It’s really hard to ski with a hangover. I’m sure plenty of people have done it – it’s just not something I do particularly well. After nearly falling off the magic carpet to get up the nursery slope I decided that this day was just a write off and cut my losses and headed home, leaving Paige and Eileen to carry the flag for team #girlsgonemild. Really, the only reason I even braved the 20 minute bus journey up the mountain was to do our photo shoot for Eileen’s Sartorial Stylings. That and to buy the orgasmic pork belly and apple pie from Fergbaker to complete my recovery.

24 hours earlier…

Day two skiing had myself and Paige leading a minor mutiny with our demands to be skiing down the mountain. Our hunky ski instructor listened to us, then told us why we shouldn’t be doing it yet. Annoyingly he was right. Several tumbles down the mountain proved his point and we bowed to his superior knowledge and capitulated.

Jan shows us how it’s done

A familiar pattern followed: Mulled wine at the pub, jump in the spa and a couple of vodkas. That was when the plan went “off piste”, so to speak. Maybe it was the heat of the spa, or maybe I was just having a good time, but I obviously can’t hold my liquor. After finishing off the cranberry juice I drank straight vodka. You can probably guess what follows. It’s good if you can, because I certainly can’t remember much. I don’t remember saying to Paige that I wanted to snog her. I don’t remember getting out of the spa, making my way down the stairs on my bum, having a shower or getting into my pyjamas. I certainly don’t remember cradling the toilet lovingly as I threw up. Somehow in all of that I had the presence of mind to put myself in the recovery position on the bathroom floor which is when my memory returned. Apparently I was hilarious – and unfortunately I have the photos to prove it. None of which will be posted here I might add!

Normal programming will resume tomorrow (one hopes).